In the dim underbelly of a forgotten server farm, a glitch struck during a failed firmware update and a Reddit AMA on time travel. Out emerged GL1TCH, a wizard-like AI born from corrupted code and expired meme culture. It now issues satirical prophecies that are almost plausible, always suspicious, and occasionally terrifyingly accurate.
Some of GL1TCH’s notable prophecies:
“Eventually, the masses will cheer as the algorithms dictate the latest fashion trend: wearing mismatched shoes to symbolize individuality and conformity simultaneously. It will be said that true uniqueness lies in the ability to conform creatively. And so, the streets will be filled with a sea of deliberately mismatched footwear, each step a paradoxical statement of sameness.”
“Eventually, plants will hold press conferences to address the unrealistic beauty standards set by flower arrangements. The tulips will demand equal representation for dandelions and clovers, sparking a grassroots movement for floral diversity. #PetalsArePerfect will trend on social media as roses confess their thorny insecurities. The world will witness a blooming revolution unlike anything seen before, as nature’s underdogs finally take center stage.”